Recovery Requires Patience

It has been over a week since my last treatment, and the focus is recovery. I’ve had many providers tell me different things about how the next few weeks would go. Some said I’d feel even worse for two weeks, then start getting better. Some said I’d feel bad for one more week and start to improve. Based on the different types of information I was receiving, I made the choice to ignore all of it, and just concentrate on how I am feeling.

I’ve been getting IV fluids every few days at the hospital to aid in my recovery. I’ve been frustrated because I’ve still been vomiting every day. The IV fluids help me feel better, but until I can stop vomiting, I’ve felt out of control of my body. It’s not nausea in and of itself; the excess mucus triggers my gag reflex, and I never know exactly when it’s going to happen. It’s not pretty, it’s not contained, I’ve ruined so many articles of clothing. Yesterday when I was getting fluids, my nurse practitioner prescribed me steroids to see if that helps. I’m willing to try anything.

Other than the vomiting, my recovery is going well. Every day I think I have a little more energy, and I get less winded doing household activities like playing with Kirby or unloading the dishwasher. I take meds to help with nausea at night and I end up sleeping for upwards of ten hours, which is good. I still tend to need a nap at some point in the late morning, too. With all that good rest, I feel that my waking hours are able to be more productive. I’m also not too medicated during the day, which is a goal of mine as well. I want to be able to drive again soon, and I think my goal is within reach.

I’m also very eager to get back to work. I bragged to my nurse practitioner yesterday when asked how I was doing: I wrote my students a 40-question exam this morning! How boring, but this is what I want to get back to. Thinking about my colleagues and students motivates me a lot. I had lost my voice toward the end of my radiation treatments and that scared me. My voice is back, though still quiet and shaky, but I’m trying to practice talking each day to hopefully strengthen this muscle as well.

A reason why I decided to ignore all of my providers’ predictions of how this time would be for me is that one of the things I do best is recovery. From each surgery or major treatment I’ve had, it’s always been remarked on by providers how well I recover. I think most patients in my position have not had a three-and-a-half year old begging for attention each night, lunches needing to be packed, emotional support needing to be doled out. Without trying to overdo it, I think me just leading as close to my normal life as possible is what will help me turn a corner and boost my recovery.